WANNA DEAL WITH THE PAP PROBLEM? LOOK IN THE MIRROR FIRST
Author note July 23: Reposted after Rob went after paps in Malibu. Just cross K's name out and put his in. Same scenario, different day.
And why are these fans the subject of my outrage? BECAUSE THEY ARE PART OF THE
MOTHER-FUCKING PROBLEM. Cue self-denial loop. "Nope, not me" they whisper while giving me the finger.
Blipping the Fird. Counter Point.
I’m not sure just WHY the drama always puts words in my mouth. It just does.
Latest example? #Flippingthebirdgate. Otherwise known as “Kristen Stewart giving Aussie paps the double finger.”
Like everyone else in the TwiWorld, I have an opinion on the matter. Unlike everyone else, I was not quick to cheer, applaud or even support her action. My reason? It was an exercise in poor judgment.
Now, before you start filling my inbox or comments box with your own hateful words, here me out on the matter. You might find you agree with me on a point or two.
The paps are scum. We know this, we’ve seen this, we agree on this. I even defended Kristen’s ELLE UK comments to several people via my twitter account. In short, she said that looking at some papped photos of herself is like “watching someone getting raped.” Why? Because the paps are violently invasive. They create chaos in order to incite a specific reaction from a celebrity. They know what they are doing with their lurching, their goading, and their taunting. THEY WANT A REACTION. REACTIONS SELL.
Boring, bland photos of celebrities don’t fetch too many dollars (*ahem* Taylor Lautner). But catch a celeb doing “something,” macking on a girl/boyfriend, a nip-slip, a panty-flash, a drunk celeb swiping at the cameras, and there’s suddenly news. Paps love it when they catch celebs acting out. They thrive on it. Reaction shots are their money-makers, and the more virulent they become, the more media outlets pick up on them and the more money goes into the paps’ pockets.
So by acting out with her own F-You to the paps, Kristen was, in essence, paying them MORE.
But there’s another issue here, and one I feel is more important. That issue is personal power.
A wise person once told me: “We are not responsible for the actions of others. We are only responsible for our own reactions to them.”
This is, in many ways, a credo I tend to live by, and one that’s gotten me out of a few rather testy situations. The idea is that when you react negatively to something someone else has said or done, you are giving them power over yourself.
Pretty simple formula: They act +you react negatively (just as they want you to) = THEY WIN.
In Kristen’s case, not only was she giving them power over herself, she was putting more money in their pockets and giving them more fodder to write negative things about her; a lose-lose situation if you ask me (assuming you are still with me here).
I personally feel she is better than that and that she succumbed in a moment of weakness. It still does not excuse her behavior. She’s lucky she was in Australia, and not in a country where such a lapse in judgment may have found her in jail on a matter of indecency.
There’s no doubt in my mind that she was acting out in frustration. She had come off of a long flight, was likely jetlagged, hadn’t even changed clothes yet before she was whisked around to do some touristy things – right in front of the cameras, naturally. So in an instance where she finally had a bit of reprieve to snag a cigarette and perhaps a moment or two of quiet, there the paps were with their lurching, their goading and their taunting. It only takes one moment to snap, and double-snap she did.
There’s one other point here, and then I’ll have finally exorcised all I have to say on the matter.
Context. If the paps had snagged her in a non-working situation, say, at a bar, or at dinner with her closest circle, or in a moment of repose enjoying downtime on vacation somewhere, I probably wouldn’t be as passionate about my viewpoint here. As it was, however, she was on a work assignment, representing a company and promoting a film for which she is paid millions of dollars. Even if she wasn't specifically at a junket or promo event, she was, by default, still working, still acting as a representative of the company who is paying her. So yes, in a working context, she is expected to behave in a certain way, even when trying to sneak away for a cigarette break on her hotel balcony.
Does Kristen deserve her privacy? Yes. Just like any other celeb. Does she have that right now? Obviously not. In fact, I would bet money that currently she and/or Rob are probably two of the most-hounded celebrities out there, save for perhaps Angelina Jolie and/or Brad Pitt.
And here’s the final conundrum. It’s quick to put sole blame on the paparazzi, but what of we the fans?
How many of us have filled our bookshelves with copies of “Twi” special magazines or other tabloids (including US and People) where pap photos were included. How many of us visit blog sites, gossip sites and Twi-related sites to “get the latest,” including pap pics (even many on-set pics are papped). How many of us have squeed over, downloaded, passed along or retweeted some of these very pap photos which we claim to so revile. >>> GUILTY right here (*cough* Paris airport *cough*).
Even legitimate mags use pap photos from time to time. So by purchasing them and supporting these enterprises, we are part of the collective problem, and in a round-about way, she's lifting her fingers to us, too. Afterall, if it weren't for our rabid need for information on her, maybe the paps would at least give her the space she obviously craves.
End Note: She’s an adult. She's responsible for the way she behaves, especially in a working environment. That includes how she responds under pressure. It doesn't matter that she is "shy," or "sensitive," or "tired." Retribution might feel good for a single moment, but in the long run, it does more harm than good.
Hopefully, as she continues to grow and be more comfortable in her own skin, she’ll learn better how to “play the game.” Until then, she needs to keep her fingers to herself.
Want more of the fun and f*ckery? Follow me on twitter: @alonelily (18 and older only please)
© jlm communications June 1, 2010
So, People Magazine reveals their big “Sexiest Man Alive” issue tomorrow. And while those of us in Twiland believe it is a given that Rob will take the coveted Top Spot (and what a spot it is), the rest of the world is still a’Twitter about who the potentials are.
To keep the masses guessing, People Magazine, via their Twitter account @peoplemag, has been sending out clues throughout the week. Unless they have a J.K. Rowling-like prowess at throwing out red herrings, we can rest assured that Mr. Pattinson will take the much-deserved honor, and just in time for the “New Moon” opening on November 20. Coincidence? Hmmm, I think not.
Some people have already spotted the faux cover floating around the web, the one featuring one of the Bruce Weber photos from Rob’s recent Vanity Fair article (blue peacoat and come-hither stare, for those who want to know). People Magazine has put out a denial about said cover, but let’s look at how craftily they issued their response:
Via @peoplemag “Saw the cover. That’s not the real one, so keep your guesses coming.”
See there? Classic PR spin. Note they didn’t deny who the cover boy is, just that the cover itself isn’t the real deal. Rest assured, based upon the multiple clues they’ve been handing out over the week, Rob is the chosen one (as if we didn’t know)!
That said, let’s take a look at those crafty clues as tossed out via People’s twitter account.
CLUE #1 (tweeted ?)*
#sexiestmanalive has done TV AND movies.
Well, at first look, some might think this would automatically eliminate Mr. Pattinson on the fact that he's not worked as an actor on any TV shows within the U.S. Never fear, Rob fans. A cursory glance on his IMDB page shows that before he landed at Hogwarts or in Forks, Washington, he took a spin on the telly in his home country of England.
In 2004, he took the role of Giselher in the "Ring of the Nibelungs," a multi-part fantasy series based on a Nordic legend. In 2006, he played Toby Jugg, a paralyzed Royal Air Force fighter pilot who finds himself fighting demons great and small when he's left to the devices of a questionable staff in a convalescent home in "The Haunted Airman." The made-for-TV movie first aired on England's BBC TV. Finally, in 2007, he played the role of Daniel Gale in made for TV film "The Bad Mother's Handbook." The movie premiered on ITV in England on February 19, 2007.
As for the movies? Well, the list just keeps on growing!
CLUE #2 (Tweeted 11/13/09)
#sexiestmanalive is taller than @RyanSeacrest, not quite as tall as THE_REAL_SHAQ (that’s Shaquille O’Neill to those who aren’t part of the Twitterverse).
Rob is, according to his IMDB bio, 6’ 1” which puts him clearly head and shoulders above the lilliputian Seacrest (his IMDB page stats him at 5’ 8” but other reports say he’s much shorter) and not nearly as tall as the behemoth O’Neill, who charts in at an NBA-approved 7’1”, and wears a size 22 shoe (you do the math, ladies).
Of course, this doesn’t give us any true indication as to our new SMA, given that there are countless sexy stars in this height range, but let's see if when added with the others, this clue can measure up.
CLUE #3 (tweeted on 11/14/09)
#sexiestmanalive has roots outside the U.S.
For those who’ve been in the Robert Pattinson closet for the past three years, Rob hails from London, England. So, unless I woke up this morning in some parallel universe where the colonial militias indeed lost to the British during the Revolutionary War, effectively keeping us staunchly under British rule, then I would have to say that England is outside the U.S.
CLUE #4 (tweeted on 11/15/09)
#sexiestmanalive has proposed to at least one woman.
Well, now here’s a Red Herring, or is it? While Rob hasn’t had any fiancée of record, it is widely known amongst his fans that he has a quite a snarky habit of chatting ladies up with – yup – marriage proposals. Hey, noone said the proposals had to be the real deal. In fact, Rob’s fun little habit of faux-proposals has even become fodder for the popular fanfic story I Love L.A. by feathers_mmmm.
We also know that Rob admitted to having proposed to Kristen Stewart multiple times during the filming of “Twilight.” Of course, the proposals were in jest (check out his on-carpet interview during the 2008 MTV Movie Awards for confirmation), but nonetheless, Robbie boy has a penchant for popping the question, and has admitted to doing it to at least one woman – Kristen Stewart.
CLUE #5 (tweeted on 11/16/09)
#sexiestmanalive has starred in a blockbuster franchise. any guesses?
Um, er, gee. Nope. Can’t think what that would be. Don’t know what that would be at all. Don’t know of any blockbuster franchises that just happen to be premiering this very week in which the new #sexiestmanalive issue hits the newsstands. Nope, not a clue. Darn, I guess you got me on this one.
So, there you have it. The 2009 #sexiestmanalive has worked in television and movies, has roots outside the U.S., is taller than Ryan Seacrest but shorter than Shaquille O’Neill, has proposed to at least one woman, and has starred in a blockbuster franchise.
Unless, I’m missing the obvious, I’d say the cover belongs to a particular sparkly Vampire from Forks, Washington. So get ready for another magazine grab. Looks like this People will be a sellout!
* In my original post, I was not able to find the first tweet sent out by @peoplemag that hinted as to the #sexiestmanalive. I'm still not certain when it was tweeted. I've since edited the post to include that clue. Thanks to reader vaughanfan2004 for pointing that out and commenting.
© JLM Communications November 17 2009
Here's the ROUGH translation - still working out the kinks. See translator's note, below article. Not too much revealed. Obviously this was done earlier in the year given some of the info in it.
She lights up cigarettes one after the other. Her slender legs in gray skinny jeans, an oversized t-shirt, and on her feet, Converse sneakers. She’s seated, with her legs (curled under her?) on an antique armchair in a suite of the Four Seasons of Beverly Hills. Kristen Stewart, nineteen years old, is not the type to greet you with a smile. Rather, to the contrary, she offers a small scowl. Interviews are not, frankly, her cup of tea, thanks to the paparazzi who’ve turned her daily life into that of a laboratory rat in sequins. As the opening of the second film in the Twilight Saga, “New Moon,” approaches, where [Stewart] plays the role of Bella, the heroine head-over-heels and impossibly in love with Edward, a 104-year-old vampire played by Robert Pattinson, she is now, more than ever, the object of obsession amongst fans, and the tabloids. Even her parents’ home (where she seeks refuge when she has nothing left in her own fridge), is under the shadow of the paparazzi lenses! Even the smallest of gestures between her and her co-star [Pattinson] are [blown disproportionately] into rumors about their real life relationship, [even gracing the cover of People magazine]. The two stars don’t travel on the same flights nor arrive together for press events, at the risk of creating riots! As a result, Kristen, a young adult* naturally more timid than extroverted, gives off an air in her own life like that of a wild cat. “I don’t live very well among this craziness. It’s absolutely crazy. I can’t even leave my hotel room,” she grumbles. No one really ever warned me that my private life would become a spectacle unto itself.”**
(Pourtant), the unspoken rules of
How did she (endosse) the role of Bella in “Twilight?” “I was never really a fan, I hadn’t read the books by Stephenie Meyer,” she reveals, “but as soon as I read the screenplay, I felt an immediate connection with the character of Bella, (a quelque chose d’envoutant). For “New Moon,” she had to transcend into a very dark place. “During filming in
A línstar de son cult personality – the same as her lover Edward – does not (nárrive pas a cerner) (she’s the only whose thoughts he cannot read) - , Kristen Stewart is an introvert, as (insaisissable) as intellect/deep-thinking). She’s the type who picks up her guitar alone in her hotel room each night (she’s just finished filming a biography of rocker Joan Jett and played “Outside of film, my real passion is writing. It was one of my English teachers who really taught me the power of words. That’s when I realized I could really enjoy writing. XXX As soon as I get a script (in my hands), I start scribbling and writing down notes throughout, and afterwards I just forget them.” She is also always (se trimballe) with a small journal where she writes down her thoughts, “her vignettes” as she says. Her favorite author? “Henry Miller. He’s dark, difficult and very serious, and he speaks (de lui sans fard).” Finally, it’s perhaps because she’s grown up in a bath of (paillettes) that Kristen Stewart rebels so much against cultural codes.
As for her life post-“Twilight?” She hasn’t really given it much thought (three other films are anticipated in order to finalize the series created by Stephenie Meyer). She says to (fonctionner au feeling). At this moment, ironically, she dreams of a great adventure: “I dream about one day going to
Translation © by JLM Communications. November 14, 2009.
Translators note: There is a difference between translation (interpretation) and transliteration (the word-by-word conversion of a piece from one language into another). There are places where I took liberties to translate into something that sounded more “natural” to a native English speaker, or where clarification was needed. When translating, it is the job of the translator, to not just translate a piece word-by-word, but also convey the tone of the original writer’s work. Not all idiomatic expressions, for example, can be transliterated from one language into another.
A few examples of these types are below:
*post ado (adolescent) doesn’t really translate from French since “ado” is not used in English to describe a young person.
** mini-show – again, this phrase does not really have meaning or context in native English. As such, I translated the intent of the quote to mean “spectacle unto itself,” which makes more sense to a native English speaker.
Translation © by JLM Communications. November 14, 2009.
It’s been a roller coaster of a week, first with the Vanity Fair “denialgate” article, then with the exquisite Harper’s Bazaar photo shoot and accompanying article that scream “yes, we’re a couple.” In short, the Twi fandom, paps, media hounds and others are all in a tizzy with curiosities so on edge as to borderline rabid hysteria (really, we’ve already passed that point, but you get the idea). So, humble PR pro that I am, I’m going to throw some cards on the table, see what you think, and offer you some basic advice on how I’d advise any of my clients to act – leaving my opinion of Summit’s and talent management’s handling of the matter out of it.
That idea? Transparency. I know, the dreaded “T-word,” as in the truth, or at least some semblance thereof. Now, I realize that the PR pros in Hollywood would likely take back my APR creds for even merely suggesting it, but in the sector in which I work, the truth is the only thing that matters. And guess what? It works!
Why? Because when you continue to evade THE BIG QUESTION with such morsels like: “We are. We Aren’t. I’m a lesbian,” the beast is never sated. So by offering only vague and sarcastic innuendo, you continue to add to the hype you want so desperately to go away. Just throw it a pretty big morsel, say “no more,” then leave it at that (heck , it works for my dogs).
You even said yourself to Entertainment Weekly “I probably would’ve answered it if people hadn’t made such a big deal about it. But I’m not going to give the fiending an answer.” It’s obvious you get the idea, but by continuing to NOT give into the “fiending’s” questions, you are just adding fuel to the fire, creating results you are not happy with.
So, for what it’s worth, here’s my advice.
Have your publicist arrange a sit-down “exclusive” with a respected nationally-known reporter (note: NOT entertainment reporter). My pick? Diane Sawyer. She’s sassy, genuine, approachable and knows how to deal with delicate issues far better than any of her other network counterparts. She’s also fairly soft, which is perfect for this kind of “outing.” Oh, and did I mention she’s married to a remarkably-talented stage and screen director Mike Nichols? As in, Academy-Award-winning director Mike Nichols? So yeah, I can give you a Hollywood spin afterall.
Here’s how my ideal interview on the subject would go (cutting past the other fluff questions no one cares about….):
Diane: So, here’s the big question everybody wants to know. Are you and Rob dating?
Kristen: Look, here’s what I’ll say. And I’ll say this once and for all. I’m in a deeply committed relationship with someone I’m very much in love with, and that person is very much in love with me. We don’t feel a need to define it for ourselves, or anyone else. And we want to do everything that we can to keep it as real as possible, which means keeping it private. We both understand that fame comes with a certain price, and part of that price is giving a part of yourself over to the public, but certain things are sacred and worth holding onto – even if they’re just between you and that one other person.
Diane: So, is this person Rob?
Kristen: *blushes and gives us an awkward smile* I think the writing is on the wall, and has been for some time. It’s pretty obvious for those who are paying attention.
Diane: So, any talk about marriage or the future?
Kristen: *awkward eyebrow cringe* It is MUCH too early to talk about anything like that. I’m young. This relationship is young, and the intensity that is going on around us doesn’t give us a chance to think about those things. We’re just really enjoying being with each other and being in love. There’s nothing wrong with that. As I said before, we don’t need a definition. I mean, I’m only 19 years old. It’s really too early for me to think about things like that…not for several more years. What we have right now is something I cherish very much, but there’s no need to think about the future at this point. We are happy, and that’s all that matters, and that’s all I’m going to say about it from here on out.
- END OF INTERVIEW-
So, there ya go. Cat’s out of the proverbial bag. I just gave you an out, a “get out of jail free” card, and you didn’t even have to bring up Rob’s name. Now, as to subsequent interviews with other media, here’s how that would go.
Media Junket / Press Conference / Promo / Fan Event / Whatever:
MEDIA PERSON 1: So, are you and Rob dating or in a relationship?
Kristen: I’m not going to speak about or give rise to any speculation about my personal life. I’ve said everything I needed to say on the matter.
MEDIA PERSON 2: What about the rumors that you broke off with Michael to go out with Rob?
Kristen: Again, I’m not here to speak about my personal relationships.
MEDIA PERSON 3: Tell us about your relationship with Rob.
Kristen: …..*crickets chirp while you politely say nothing* Looks to your publicist to request next question and embargo all questions related to personal relationships.
So there ya have it. No more snarky comments (even though we love your snark). No more STFU’s (even though I’m holding my finger up right there with you). Eventually, you can train the hounds to stop asking if you just: a) get IT out there once and for all, and then b) REFUSE to speak of it ever again.
Will this stop the hounds from wanting to get their hands on EVERY SINGLE DETAIL of your relationship? No, but at least the ongoing rampant speculation of “are they, or aren’t they” would cease and people could focus on other things.
Then, hole up together a la Ryan and Scarlett, be happy and enjoy this time in your life.
Oh – and just a touch of PDA wouldn’t hurt. Just sayin’. My bill’s in the mail.
© JLM Communications, November 6, 2009
Edward Wallbanger by Feathers...mmm - AU/AH Edward +Bella Comedy/Romance
Hands down, one of the funniest and most engaging fics out there. When angsty rockstar Edward (aka Asstard) happens upon a homeless Bella (Piss Girl) in the alley in which she dwells, love and chaos ensue. An imaginative, funny and poignant fic on what it means to face your inner demons and find yourself in order to find love. Equal parts angst and humor, with plenty of lemony goodness (5 stars on the jen lickability scale!) Probably the best Alice in all of AH ficdom, and a hysterical sexually-ambiguous Emmett, and a regular appearance by an funny and engaging Rob Pattinson. This fic has my ass. Almost complete.
The Screamers by kiyaraven AU/AH Edward+Bella Angst/Hurt/Humor with loads of lemony goodness.
Ficlink: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5081258/1/ Follow her @kiyaraven on Twitter.
Mr. Horrible by algonquinrt (follow her @algonquinrt on twitter). AU/AH Edward + Bella Dramedy/Romance
Fic link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4953962/1/